Hi @Clairesailatsea, I typically do not get defensive, but I truly am sorry to disappoint you.

My last year has been horrible and I suffer from depression, which is and will be permanent for me. If you look at a few of my other stories, I basically plan my demise daily. My persona has changed, and not for the better.

But that does not mean that I do not still have some positive things to say and write, and you may have read another more positive story of mine, likely something that I had in draft for years if it was very recent.

Many writers who I admire on this platform urge others to be real, share their true selves, and I guess that is one of those stories that is part of me. But I'll probably delete it. I don't want to read it again, but I recall writing that if you find it offensive, please don't read it.

I am loathe to admit going to another woman to be turned on. Before last spring, I would not have contemplated it, I've been with my wife of almost 28 years for over 30 and have still not kissed another woman since 1992. But "because reasons," I do seek comfort from another woman and do pay for it.

I could share much more, but I repeat that I am sorry to disappoint you, and TBH, it will likely be less enjoyable on my next visit when I think about your words.